Goodbye, commissions
I have an announcement: I am no longer taking commissions for costumes.
I made this choice in mid-June, and wrote my first draft of this blog post on June 21. I wanted to make a formal announcement, but I also felt like a failure and didn’t quite know what to say or how to say it. I’ve been debating removing the first few paragraphs of this post to make it more positive and less self-critical, but I also want to be transparent, share the reality of this type of work, and be more open about my mental health, so I’m leaving the opening of this blog as I originally wrote it back in June. I have edited the later parts of the post for clarity and accuracy and to better reflect my future plans, but the beginning is untouched. Welcome to my brain…
Hi, I’m a failure.
Ok maybe that’s harsh. But it’s how I feel today.
Today marks the end of my commissioned costume business. I guess it’s been a long time coming, but I didn’t want to admit that it was over. I didn’t want to quit. To quit was to fail, and I hate failing. But here we are.
So, what happened? In short: commissions are hard.
First of all, I should say that I love sewing. Honestly, I do. I still do. When I originally started thinking about sewing for money I thought, what if I come to resent sewing? What if this thing I do for fun and relaxation now turns into something I have to do if I want to keep living indoors, and I start to hate it for that, like I’ve hated every job before it? But the prospect of working for myself and doing what I love made it worth the risk.
I loved every piece that I made. But there was also a level of uncertainty and uneasiness attached to each piece. Because I was working with measurements only, I was never 100% sure that what I was making was right. And most of the time I never got any feedback from clients after they received their costumes*. So I was always wondering if the things actually fit, or lived up to expectations in general. And that really wore on me and made commission work less and less fun.
I hit a point where the stress was doing actual physical damage to me. There have been other contributing factors as well, but commissions were a massive source of stress, and one of the few sources that I could actually control. I can’t cure the pandemic. I can’t speed up shipping times from short-staffed fabric stores and short-staffed postal services. I can’t make the unemployment department pay us in a timely manner. I can’t make the dumbasses in the grocery store wear masks. I can’t fix racism. I can’t fix politics. But I can stop taking commissions. And so I have.
I’ve learned so much these last three years - about sewing, about garment construction, about running a business - and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve also met some amazing people and accomplished several personal goals. Despite all the negative talk above, a lot of good came from this experience and I don’t regret it for a minute!
The business will go on, but in a different form. I’m going to focus on unique products. I’m going to make things first, and then sell them - no more commissions, no more made to order, no more customizations**. I will make inventory and then sell inventory. I will stock smaller, more affordable things, alongside some higher-end items. I want to start selling at shows, if we ever actually have conventions again.***
I just finished my last commission and I’m just starting to work on this new inventory of products. My store is down for the time being until I can build my inventory up. I’m going to continue selling patches, which people seem to like, and also bags, wallets, and other small accessories. I’m getting pins manufactured, and thinking about stickers, too. I’m going to continue incorporating embroidery into most of my products. And almost everything will, of course, have geek appeal.
So that’s where I’m at. It’s been a rough year but I’m rebuilding. I’ll be re-launching the store soon with fresh products and old favorites and a whole new look. I want to thank all of you who have been a part of this big experiment, and I hope you like what’s next!
*The clients who did leave me feedback were wonderful and so very appreciated! Thank you to all of you who said nice things about my work!
**Maybe some made to order and customization, but not anywhere close to the level of before
***I miss conventions so much! I can’t wait to get back out there and see all of you wonderful humans again!!! <3
